How my granddaughter feels today.

How my granddaughter feels today.

I chose this picture because it represents how F was feeling today. R and me did go over the hill today (I know me is bad grammar, but my son is I, so in trying to distinguish between me and him I used me. I will from now on refer to him as IM though). I did a couple of jobs then we went up to Dad’s house where IM and the family are staying. IM had gone to the hospital to get A as she was being discharged. J his stepdaughter, who is 21 was looking after the four children who range in age from 6 down to 2. We chatted for a while and then I watched the children while J had a shower. After that I hung some washing on the line for them. F who is 6 came over all sad and went off to her room. I went to talk to her but she wouldn’t talk to me, and wouldn’t talk to R either. I went back a bit later and she was lying in her bed looking very sad. I told her it would be alright, then thought have I just lied to her? I don’t know if it will all be alright. I want it to be, but I can’t guarantee that it will be. I knew she was upset about her mum. I gave her a kiss, and rubbed her back for her for a little bit. She is not a touchy feely person – much like her granny, but she didn’t resist. Maybe that just helped make it a bit better for both of us. Her sister Y who is 3 is very cuddly and was snuggling up to me for a while later when the cardiac nurse was there and talking to her mum. F came out when her mum got home, but later she wanted a bit of toast and couldn’t have it straight away and that tipped her over the edge and she started sobbing. That really got to me and just about set me off as well. I can get her as she is quite like me in a lot of ways. Once she had her toast and had stopped sobbing IM told me she had been out yesterday and when she got home her mum wasn’t there as she had gone back to the hospital. She is bright and understands what is going on. Also when she was 2 her stepsister who was 16 committed suicide and I think she may have memories from that time. Sometimes I wish I could just wave a wand and make everything alright, but life in it’s reality is not like that. I can only be there for her and listen to her and be sensitive to how she is feeling.

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